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renatoobeidsworld   Sunday, November 12, 2006   Earlier this evening my cousin Omar fell asleep there and then on the spot right where he was sitting on the couch while we were gathered in the living room. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust anyone who can fall asleep that easily. It’s unnatural! I have to perform a whole ‘’mass’’ (various pre-sleep procedures and rituals) before I can even contemplate going to sleep. Knock on wood and God bless the boy – it’s a good talent to have. If I had such a freakish talent, I’d perform it at circus freak shows across the world. The Amazing Sleeping Man! Sleeps instantly at will anywhere, everywhere! “Roll up, roll up, roll up, the man who can sleep anywhere will now demonstrate his extraordinary talent’’ and I’ll get on stage and just fall asleep I think that being able to sleep properly is truly a talent and that anyone who can sleep easily and properly is truly talented. I remember when I was a boy and I couldn’t sleep and I’d tell my older brother (with whom I shared a bedroom) that I couldn’t sleep he’d say ‘’just don’t think of anything’’. How do you do that? Is it even possible? I think therefore I am…not sleeping. People always simplistically think that if you have insomnia it’s because you have something on your mind. It’s not always the case and definitely not the case for me – in my case I have insomnia because I have a mind. It’s not that I can’t sleep because I’m thinking but I can’t sleep because I think. Furthermore, it’s not that I can’t sleep because I have something on my mind but I can’t sleep because I have a mind. After I told him that I used to read the dictionary when I was kid, my neighbour Eli said that there should be a warning on dictionaries to the extent of ‘’WARNING: reading this will give you a lifetime of insomnia’’ and that I ought to sue them. Insomnia is the thinker’s disease. How many stupid people do you know who can’t sleep? The sleep of the just all right - the sleep of the just stupid. I don’t necessarily mean that but I’m just pissed off at people who quote that to me hinting not so subtly. 2:00 am

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