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Serious satire
"Humor is a funny way of being serious"
-Thomas Edison
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Copyright© 2001-2010, Renato Obeid
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"Top blog/Renato Obeid's World/Today's pick: This rambling weblog is worth reading not so much for its satirical posts but more for its insight into the minutiae of life in Lebanon, including the etiquette of road accidents and how to hire a taxi.”
-Jane Perrone, The Guardian
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Thursday, February 09, 2006
Stricken with a cold, I’m trying to do a very Lebanese thing – determine the exact moment (date, hour, minute and second) that I caught my cold.
All Lebanese with a cold can tell you, without any shadow of a doubt, the exact moment they caught their cold.
Example, ‘’I went outside, from a warm environment to a cold environment, without drinking a glass of water first (a Lebanese superstition - It’s amazing what people will believe if it’s inculcated into them) and caught a cold’’.
Not very scientific – I recall reading somewhere that you actually catch the germs of a cold twenty four hours before you actually manifest symptoms – but Lebanese swear by it.
As I’m new at flu forensics, I haven’t been able to pinpoint the exact time but am more general about it – I put it down to the change of weather.
The Hajji (my mother) is particularly good at flu forensics and can determine the exact time she caught a cold right down to the millisecond and is always ''advertising'' some upcoming cold that fortunately doesn’t often eventuate - ''I swear I'm getting a cold - I must have caught it when...''
Mum isn’t a Hajji per se in that she hasn’t made the pilgrimage to Mecca but the term Hajj/Hajji is also an honorific for an older Muslim man/woman regardless of whether they’ve actually undertaken the pilgrimage or not.
A friend recently described an attractive women he met as having ‘’an ugly girl’s personality’’ - that is she was friendly, down-to-earth, modest etc (a rare bird indeed).
Speaking of which, do you notice that you hardly ever see two very attractive women who are friends (except in porn movies)?
I think that the reason for that is that the competition and rivalry between the two would be too intense.
That’s why you’ll often see combinations of a really attractive girl and a really ugly girl who are friends because the attractive girl prefers the friendship of the ugly girl as she is no threat to her (the female equivalent of a eunuch when it comes to luring away men) and the ugly girl is drawn to be friends with the attractive girl merely because she is attractive and every ugly girl wants to be friends with an attractive girl (something that she’s not).
12:00 pm
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