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    "Top blog/Renato Obeid's World/Today's pick: This rambling weblog is worth reading not so much for its satirical posts but more for its insight into the minutiae of life in Lebanon, including the etiquette of road accidents and how to hire a taxi.” -Jane Perrone, The Guardian

    renatoobeidsworld
     
    Wednesday, September 29, 2004  
    OFFICIAL NOTICES
    TENDER APPLICATIONS INVITED
    Renatoobeidsworld is accepting tender applications for a new Official Manouchie Purveyor after the incumbent won a seat on the local municipal council in Sunday's revote and hasn’t opened since.
    The successful applicant will be issued with a royal warrant entitling him to display my coat of arms and the right to represent himself as being "by appointment to renatoobeidsworld".
    Applicants are invited to email a CV, sample of their manakish and a sworn declaration that they will never run for political office to be received by no later than lunchtime tomorrow.

    URGENT APEAL TO THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY
    F--- Darfur – send me emergency manouchie aid!

    Day Eleven* of the Great Manouchie Famine of 2004
    - worse than the Irish Potato Famine ( a couple of years without "fries with that" never killed anyone!)
    My erstwhile manouchie purveyor is a good intelligent bloke, very popular in the community and certainly deserves to be a councilor.
    I don’t know that much about his policies but nowhere in his manifesto does it mention anything about starvation!
    The situation is desperate – if it doesn't improve I may have to get married (I couldn't make a manouchie if my life depended on it)!
    The good news is that he's pro-Sandy – he used to feed her and look after her.
    Is it a coincidence that the ticket backed by Sandy's tormentors failed to win one single seat?
    The pro-Sandy ticket had a clean sweep, wining all twelve seats.
    Despite that, you can't eat dogs (unless you're Chinese, Vietnamese, Laotian…) – so next time I'm going to back a pro-manouchie candidate.
    Who say's I don't address the real political issues?
    I'm going to lodge an appeal with the electoral commission and force a third vote – this is wrong, it's national politicians who are starving us not local politicians!

    *He was busy campaigning for a week before Sunday's election

    4:00 pm

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