---------------------------------------------- Serious satire "Humor is a funny way of being serious" -Thomas Edison -------------------- To have your emails deleted please write to me at renatoobeid@hotmail.com -------------------- Copyright© 2001-2010, Renato Obeid

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  • prequel

    "Top blog/Renato Obeid's World/Today's pick: This rambling weblog is worth reading not so much for its satirical posts but more for its insight into the minutiae of life in Lebanon, including the etiquette of road accidents and how to hire a taxi.” -Jane Perrone, The Guardian

    Sunday, May 06, 2001  
    Writing in the Sun-Herald newspaper, the Prime Minister, John Howard, concludes his piece on the one hundredth anniversary of Australian nationhood
    "We recommit ourselves to the same goals of peace honor and prosperity that our founders set for us a hundred years ago, convinced that they are within the reach of a united and kindhearted people."
    Well said.
    Just as in Lebanon a certain ally and a certain enemy have to be mentioned on all occasions, in Australia, sport has to be mentioned on all such occasions
    "As proud Australians we also celebrate the achievements of our sportsmen and women who rank among the most successful of any in the world – our national teams have been worthy flag bearers of Australian pride and continue to be a source of tremendous unity to our people"

    - renatoobeidsworld exclusive expose on the lies and myths of the "so-called sponge" industry

    "Most of the so-called sponges sold in stores today are not true sponges – they are synthetic materials made to look and clean like true animal sponges.
    Skeletons used as true commercial sponges consist of soft elastic sponge and fibers.
    They are free from impurities and can absorb large amounts of water.
    These qualities make sponges excellent cleaning tools.
    True commercial sponges come from Tarpon Springs, off Florida's West Coast, and from waters off Key West, the Bahamas and Cuba.
    Sponges are also taken from the Mediterranean Sea, off the coasts of Egypt, Greece, Tunisia and Turkey"
    - World Book Encyclopedia, Volume 18, 1976
    Are your sponges from Tarpon Springs, off Florida's West Coast, from waters off Key West, the Bahamas and Cuba, off the coasts of Egypt, Greece, Tunisia and Turkey?
    Didn’t think so – you my gullible friend have been sold a lie!
    Soak that up!
    How's that for investigative journalism!
    Sponges - they're all a big lie!
    Those lying sponges' merchants!
    You can't hide your lying sponges anymore now that I've expunged (or should I say ex-sponged) your lies and deceit!

    Smoker's cough is the "good cough"
    It's like a burp after a good meal.
    Smoker's cough is the cough that says "I've had some good smokin'".
    Smokers cough – it's the cough worth havin'.
    As a matter of fact, I think I got it now.

    Sydney’s public transport system is very ordinary to say the least.
    Put it this way, it’s better than Lebanon’s public transport system (aka “walking”) and worse than Melbourne’s – my personal yin and yang parameters of efficiency, practicality etc.
    Although they’re always working on it, there’s no visible manifestation of the results of this “work” to be seen - except for closing down virtually the whole bloody rail network every second weekend (at least the Campbelltown line anyway) ostensibly for “track maintenance” (I didn’t know that there was any bloody track to maintain), although the real reason and aim appears to be to stultify, subdue and pacify the masses, especially those in the restive provinces.
    How many times have I headed off for Sydney on a Saturday night, hell-bent on revolution and upheaval, only to find that the trains weren’t running and had to catch a replacement bus that thinks it’s a train, drives me around in circles in a not so merry-go-round for two and a half hours* and drops me off dizzy, exhausted and spent in the state capital?
    If the Zapatista rebels, who seized four county capitals in the southeast Mexican state of Chiapas on New Years Day 1994, had of been driven around in circles for two and a half hours in a bus en route to those said county capitals from their jungle hideaways the exact same thing would of happened to them and the uprising would never of occurred.
    State Rail (or should that be Statist Rail?) has inadvertently created a perfect way of quelling restive provincials.

    * The reason why what usually takes around forty minutes on the train takes two and a half hours on the bus is that it has to follow the train’s regular route and stop at every station – which is much easier for a train to do than for a bus which has to weave in and out of cities and then back onto the highway etc.

    1:34 pm

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