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Serious satire
"Humor is a funny way of being serious"
-Thomas Edison
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To have your emails deleted please write to me at renatoobeid@hotmail.com
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Copyright© 2001-2010, Renato Obeid
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"Top blog/Renato Obeid's World/Today's pick: This rambling weblog is worth reading not so much for its satirical posts but more for its insight into the minutiae of life in Lebanon, including the etiquette of road accidents and how to hire a taxi.”
-Jane Perrone, The Guardian
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Friday, May 30, 2003
BROKEN NEWS!
( was Breaking News! elsewhere seven days ago )
GUY FAWKES REDUX?
LONDON : Large concrete blocks are to be put around the British Parliament to protect it from possible attack by the modern day Saudi Guy Fawkes Osama bin Laden.
11:46 am
BROKEN NEWS!
( was Breaking News! elsewhere eight days ago )
U.N SECURITY COUNCIL* APROVES DAFT RESOLUTION ON IRAQ
-Its official - Iraq is now the 51st state of Israel
-Daft Draft Resolution on Iraq becomes U.N Security Council Resolution 1483/Fait Acompli/Party Time in Washington
-Erstwhile "anti-war" ( sic ) and playing hard to get Security Council members kiss and make up with and go to bed with pro- war coaltion - bestowing retroactive aproval of and legitamacy to invasion and defacto aproval of occupation.
-Of Iraqis' French say "let them eat apple pie".
-Iraq to be privatised - Bush military-industrial complex clique awarded DBOTT ( Destroy, Build, Operate, Transfer to Themselves ) contract.
*The five permanent members of the Security Council are Israel,Britain,France,Russia and China.
11:38 am
BROKEN NEWS!
( was Breaking News! elsewhere five days ago )
-AUSTRALIAN AYATOLLAH RESIGNS
CANBERA :
Australian Ayatollah ( aka Governor General ) Peter Hollingworth has resigned.
A rape case brought against him was the latest in a series of scandals that have dogged him throughout his two year tenure ( including promoting a child molesting priest whilst he was Anglican Archbishop of Brisbane ) was seen as the straw that broke the camels back.
Ayatollah Hollingworth maintains he is inocent of all the allegations leveled against him and says the rape allegation is a case of "mistaken identity" - i.e he thought he was raping somebody else.
10:43 am
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
The most inexplicable and surprising aspect of the American invasion and occupation of Iraq has been the appointment of former West Indies cricket captain Joel Garner as the American civil administrator of Iraq.
9:47 am
Monday, May 19, 2003
PALESTINIAN WOMEN GO OFF!
A female Palestinian sucide bomber detonated a bomb outside an Israeli shopping centre killing herself and three others.
9:27 am
Sunday, May 18, 2003
BROKEN NEWS!
(was Breaking News! elsewhere seven days ago)
-AUSTRALIAN AYATOLLAH STEPS DOWN
CANBERA : Australian Ayatollah Peter Hollingworth has stepped down.
News analysis
Hollingworth's official title is Governor General, but unelected right-wing senior cleric as head of state = Ayatollah.
Being temporarily depayse I'm not too familiar with all the details and the exact cause - but, from here, it sounds like something about raping a dead woman.
-KHATAMI IN LEBANON
BEIRUT : Iranian President Mohamed Khatami has concluded a historic ( or histrionic - going by the reception he recieved from his co-religionists ) visit to Lebanon.
Mr Khatami was not accompanied by Iranian Governor General Ali Khamenei.
News analysis
Khamenei's official title is Ayatollah, but unelected right-wing senior cleric as head of state = Governor General.
Other headlines
-God creates earth - all the seventh day highlights
-Roman Empire collapses
-President Kennedy shot - in critical condition
Stay tuned for more BROKEN NEWS!
You heard it here last - be the last to know at renatoobeidsworld!
Brought to you by BV beer, Bitter Victorian for a hardly earned thirst!
10:14 am
Sunday, May 11, 2003
renatoobeidsworld - since 2003
9:14 am
Saturday, May 10, 2003
renatoobeidsworld - since yesterday
9:11 am
Friday, May 09, 2003
To have your emails deleted, please write to me at renatoobeid@hotmail.com.
11:36 am
"What hath God wrought?"
(Samuel Morse, first telegraph message, 1844)
Welcome to my world.
This is the New World Order - I ordered a new world from our gracious hosts and now I am trying to bring some order to the new world I have created and invite you to join me.
Whether it is "the best of all possible worlds" is a heavy burden on my shoulders, but is not a burden I have chosen but one that has been thrust upon me by the prevailing circumstances.
Incidentaly, this is meant to be satirical - if you havent worked that out I invite you to fuck off.
I dont really mean that, I'm just trying to chisel my ne plus ultra to morons on my Pillars of Hercules, albeit in the modern vernacular.
Stay tuned for more breaking news - be the last to know at renatobeidsworld.
Renato Obeid.
10:47 am
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